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”After a long police career, Don Brown got religion. He decided to join a church which questioned new members instead of just giving them a creed to recite. The questioning went like this: “Brother Don, do you believe in sin?” “Brother, I certainly believe in sin. I was a detective in the Tenderloin for years, and I saw sin by the truckload.” “Brother Don, do you believe in original sin?” “Brother, I’m afraid I don’t. I was a detective in the Tenderloin for years, and I saw sin by the truckload. Not one of those sins was original.”In the services in another church, the pastor asked, “Is there anyone here who doesn’t have an enemy in the entire world?” One old man in the back raised a trembling hand. “That is marvelous. Can you tell us your secret.” “I outlived the dastards.”After World War II, most Britons considered Winston Spencer Churchill a grand old man. In the period between the wars, however, he was not so old, and his contemporaries did not consider him grand at all. Once,. "I can hear you digesting your breakfast," you say. I am turned on by your honesty."Tell me more about what you hear in there" I say"Gurgle gurgle gurgle wee wee wee, stuff like that. It kind of sounds like my grandma's stomach. She has a lot of digestive problems." You say, your face still pressed up against my hot stomach. Hot as in sexy. I've been told I have a good stomach."I don't have any digestive problems" I say, which is 89% true. That's when it happens. You leap up and latch your arms around my neck, dangling from me like a little monkey or something. This is very sexy to me, somehow. Over your jeans, I put my finger up against where I assume your butthole would be. You exhale like a fag."Where do you buy these jeans anyway? Baby gap?" I'm obviously teasing. Maybe I'm trying to coax the bad boy out of you.You rise to the challenge and you bite my nose. With your mouth this close to my nostrils, I can smell your breath very clearly. It smells like Monster Energy."I can't.
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