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..What have you unearthed inside of me? Clutched close to you, I feel my body collect the energy it needs to make it through the day you will leave. I soak it up, like its some kind of d**g, and I can't get enough. I stare at your face, hoping that I can memorize its shape, the colors, every single hue.. Maybe, just maybe, I can call upon them, after you are through with our latest rendezvous and feel not so alone. The addict, grasping at crumbs of her only smack.. The scabs all healed, now scars, can't even open them and feel the sweet kiss of my last pain from you.. The world around me vivid and full of colors I don't want to see, when you are away from me. Awake in the night, you drowned out the absurdity of reds, purples, and yellows.. I have no need for such visions. Green is the only color in your eyes, and those lips that drain the void from inside of me are black, just like the heart they speak so sweet too. You laughed at me when I asked about your wings... I always want our time together to be pleasing for you, to show how much I love you and respect you. I could never make you do anything that you didn’t want to. Hurting you is like hurting me,now. Your tears wet my face. I mean, I read that somewhere, it’s just now, I understand what it means. I promise to say ‘I love you’ a lot, over and over, whispering into your ear and also out loud, so that everyone can hear. I want everyone to know how I feel about you, because, how I feel about you is me, now. I am my love for you. I want everyone to know that I am yours, given willingly, lovingly, totally. Lovemaking has become so special for me, too. I long for the opportunity to express what I feel in my heart with my body to your body. When I come inside you, I ache because I feel so in love with you and I don’t want that special instant to end. It’s not the physical pleasure, it’s the connection, the attachment. If I want to do it over again, it’s because I want that total connection.
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