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When she got up to go into the house to write me a check, Corey, who had seen me eyeing his wife, said, "Checking out my wife, huh, Shane? Not bad, huh."So, I jokingly replied something I'd recently heard at school, "I'd suck your dick just to see what her pussy tasted like."We both laughed and just then, she came back out."What's so funny, guys?" Well, Shane here thinks you're so good looking, that he'd suck my dick just to get a taste of your pussy," and he began to laugh again.I, however, thought I'd die. I meant it as a joke between guys, not for Rachel. But, she was laughing, too. Well, at least she thought it was funny."You know, Corey, it really is a complement Shane was making to me, a pretty nice complement," she said, then turned to me and said, "Did you really mean it? What you said? Would you really do it?"As I stood there trying to think of what to say, Rachel was pulling down her bikini bottom, then went over and straddled Corey and began wiggling around on his lap.I was. My second article was a mistake. Suffice it to say, the storm after the football story was paradise. No one ever signed my yearbooks. Mom had kept my room the way it had always been. You couldn’t see the walls for the posters, couldn’t see the floor for the toys. The desk was blue; the bed sheets were Star Wars. She thought it was nostalgic. I thought it was revolting. A week of cleaning later and the desk was mahogany, the bed sheets were white, the floor was spotless, and the posters were history. The globe on my desk was replaced by my laptop. I began. Page 1. The days passed. I continued. Page 1. Line 8. I tried to tell myself to face facts, that I was no good and should have been a gossip columnist. I didn’t listen and suggested I go fuck myself. About 2AM, I reasoned that I should get piss drunk. I did. It worked. I churned out what my drunken self considered Shakespeare. The next morning, well, afternoon, my hung-over self recognized it as Much Ado about Nothing, Act III. No.
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