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”He was a lot bigger than me. He said if I wanted to I could cheat by lifting my arse off the chair and putting all my weight behind me. So we did it like that but I still only lasted for two seconds. He gave me a friendly punch, said I was a rum lad.Anyway, things got really weird the third time we met. I’d gone round to see my bird but she wasn’t in. Mr McGann said, “She’s gone out with her Mum but come in, lad. We can have a man-to-man chat.”There was no way I could say, “Fuck off, Mr McGann – you bore the shit out of me.” So I went in.He opened a can of lager, gave it to me, opened one for himself. We chatted away about all things macho. Then from out of the blue he absolutely shocked me.“You ever had a dick fight, lad?”I thought I heard him wrong.“What?”“A dick fight. You want one?”“A…a dick fight?”“Yeah. Fancy having one?”“A dick fight?”“You couldn’t beat me in an arm wrestle, so let’s see how you are with your dick.”“You…you wanna fight me with your dick?”“Yeah. Hard enough, is. Wetherspoon's office looked familiar."Hi, Sammy," she said."Laura?" I asked, and watched her smile. I hadn't seen Laura since Wanda and I had been invited to dinner with her and her brother as a thank-you for giving them a ride during a snowstorm. Laura and Duane Nagle were twins and as I recalled, suspected by Wanda to be sleeping together."Mrs. Weatherspoon had to go to a meeting but she said to give this to you," Laura said, handing me a sealed envelope with my name on the outside.I don't know if I was feeling desperate or if it was the way Laura smiled when she handed me the envelope but I invited her to Kent's party on the spur of the moment."A friend is hosting a party on Saturday night. If you and Duane are free I would like you to come," I said, wondering if she was too tall for Skip.Laura didn't hesitate to accept the offer. "Duane may have a date but I'm free," she answered, showing the same timid innocence in her smile that I remembered from the snowstorm when we had.
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