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The next day, he asked if we would like to go to a football party on the 1/18. Sandy couldn’t make it because other obligations. I asked what type of party was it. He laughed and told me that he would give me $500 to go as his escort.How did he know that I dabbled in escorting from time to time? I’m guessing that I said too much at the New Year's Eve party. He mentioned that it was just for going to the party and anything else. Being hungover and not really getting it, I agreed to accompany him. Then we went for breakfast and he drove us back to my car still parked at the party site. As we were leaving, he took my arm and pulled me toward him for a kiss. Oh and it was a very yummy passionate one too. Laughing he said, “I wanted to leave you with something to remember me by. I’ll be thinking about our date for the next two weeks.”I smiled and sensually answered, “If you kiss like that, I'll be also thinking about our date.” The weeks passed with a few texts from Jocko asking if I was. At most, maybe you could find people your own age you can talk to and get back to living like mom would want. I need to go up and finish packing for the trip. Love you, Dad, Merry Christmas”“Merry Christmas daddy, love you,” My daughter says and exits.-=-After the kids leave I am where I thought I wanted to be, in my comfy chair in my man cave eating, drinking and watching football but can’t settle. I am half watching the game and half thinking about the conversation earlier. Am I really that much in denial? Am I really at risk physically? I know I gained some weight but I lost my wife, my partner, my other half. Why wouldn’t I go under for a little while? Who wouldn’t? January 2 2017 Here I am, at the gym about to get the baseline physical. Ever since Christmas, I have been waging a war in my head what to do. The kids never brought the subject back up when we talked on the phone. They knew that the decision was mine and mine alone. I don’t know if I’m making the right.
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