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I missed all my friends from my time away. I missed the freedom of being able to go with whoever I wanted and whenever I wanted. I’m feeling worn out. I miss him more than anything or anyone else. I walk upstairs grudgingly to take my shower. I couldn’t stop thinking of his sweet gestures. He clouded my thoughts today instead of sitting at the back of my mind. I miss the feel of his arms around me, the feeling of having someone to kiss and hug, the feeling of his hand on mine giving it a tight squeeze, his hot breath on my neck, the moment before a kiss with him, being stupid with him, acting like a complete idiot, I miss my lover. It feels like there was a heavy weight sitting on my shoulders. The pains of my world never budged. I feel so gross and dirty. All those germs from scanning all those products that people had touched were on me. The juice from bags of meat that had spilled on my hands had dried up along with the dust from arranging things. It was gross. I strip myself of. I had a few drinks before the ball dropped its was fun .Until everyone started giving me a hard time aboutnot participating in the dress code (mostly the guys) . I said its one thing if i had a shorts or a costume but no girl there was in a thong . I kept drinking the music was so loud it was a lot of fun .I ended up taking the sweater off it was so hot in there ,I had a tank top on still . After a few of the weird people we didn't like left my girlfriends and I started dancing ,The guys were staring it felt kind of good to put on a show .I decided to lose the tank top and show of my cute lace bra .It was starting to turn me on .My friend Kate's boyfriend was sitting on the sofa facing us she was bent over shaking her but in his face i thought it was funny so i went and put mine in hers. She was holding my ankles when the guys starting saying take it off .I could feel the zippers on my boots being pulled down she said "give them what they want bitch" .Dancing in my socks was better.
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