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“He was cold, exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn’t have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?”In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just stuck their fingers in their ears and kept coming. Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals just south of the border, pack them into electric cars, and drive them across the border, where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies.“A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions,” an Alberta border patrolman said. “I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier water, or any gemelli with shrimp and arugula. All they had was a nice little Napa Valley cabernet and some kale chips. When liberals are caught, they’re sent back across. One of my favourite shops was a leather boutique, selling all kinds ofleather clothes - normal rather than fantasy! On this particular day therewere some gorgeous leather mini skirts on display. They were short - veryshort - and in a range of colours including black, white, pink, red andmore. I just stood outside the window staring at them and wishing I wasbrave enough to buy one. I wondered what colour I would buy... Hmmm Ithink it would have to be black. A lovely tit, short black mini skirtwould be heavenly.I don't know what came over me - I suppose it was the beer - but suddenlyI found myself walking through the door and inside. I browsed around themen's jackets and scanned the joint. No shoppers were there, but therewere two shop assistants. Both female and in their forties. They lookedgullible enough as I worked out my plan.I took out a piece of paper and decided I would pretend I was buying askirt for my sister. I walked up looking at the paper and faced the ladyat the counter..
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