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Though I was alone I had a good, supportivecommunity, and I certainly didn't want to do anything to jeopardize it. Instead, I would walk into my woods alone, find a thick tree, lean backagainst it and reach behind it, grasping each wrist with the other hand. Iwould imagine I was a bound captive. It was not quite enough for me, but itwas better than nothing. Occasionally, when I felt very horny and very safe,I would strip naked and clutch a tree facing inward. My penis would erect andI would rub it against the rough bark until I ejaculated. Then instantly Iwould feel humiliated and ashamed. Coming often immediately broke the eroticaura hanging over me. I would quickly pull on my clothes, march out of thewoods to the farmhouse, go to my room, a vast cold room in the attic that oncewas used for storing fruits and vegetables, and pick up a copy of Jane Austinor Edith Wharton so I could read about repressed lives and vivid imaginationsother than my own. Right after the Labor Day weekend. Her moans became more frequent and her movements increasingly erratic as the thoughts in her head drifted into weird directions, merging into new paths that had little to do with reality but all led her to strange places, unfulfilled fantasies with people she had longed for or hated enough to consider v******e, it was hard to tell who was which.One face kept coming in front of her inner eye, Mike who had been the first to see her potential, given her the first few jobs and opened up the world she now lived in, a world and a man her parents had always warned her about. Over time Mike had passed every stage between love and hate and they no longer talked, but if there was one thing she remembered him by it was how well he had been able to clear her mind with his fingers and dick, even with whispers to her ear or presents and memories no sane girl would have cared for.She wasn't sure if to love him or hate him for getting her hooked on a life of adrenaline, sex and crime but she had long.
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