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We went to the student bars and parties, where sheintroduced me to all her friends as her older sister, Missy. She neversaid how much older and none of the boys ever asked.Bella told me I should take the opportunity to practise what I would bedoing with Ben, so I flirted with a number of her male friends just tofind out what worked and what didn't. Then when I found out what worked,it usually led gradually to just one thing. I discovered that any guy'shand touching my butt turned me on, and if a guy patted my butt or lefthis hand there I would get really horny.At first I hated the contact and wanted to slap the hands away but Iquickly found out that I couldn't. Simply couldn't. If I wiggled mybutt to try to shake the hand off the guy would just think I wanted himto stroke it, and my horniness would grow. Being horny made me want torelieve it the only way I knew how, which was giving a blow job. Ihadn't found any other way. Before giving a blow job I was used tohaving my tits. My phone bill is horrendous." Can you explain what you mean when you say you've 'always felt kind of different'?" He sent a smile.Elaine was glad for the smile. She thought about his question for a moment then typed, "I just meant that I don't see myself as a hunter of men or a gatherer of experiences like most other girls. I've always justified my inertia by convincing myself that I'm waiting for the right guy to come along. But I know it's not really that. God, I can't even ask a guy a question without blushing. Even if other girls haven't got it right, they seem to be getting on in life and aren't suffering some kind of handicap because of the way they see things. Then again, I feel like I 'have it right', and yet I'm the one who is socially inept. I feel awkward around men. Inexperienced. Maybe even a bit naïve." Elaine took a breath. "I'm blabbering aren't I?" You are fascinating." Why?" Elaine was glad she could slip in a question and take the spotlight off herself."I think.
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