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There is never a time that I don't regret what I did. I'm not having that dream trying to pretend the rape was different than it was. It was a rape, open and shut case. You were the victim and I was the rapist. Part of what I was saying was that you can't control how you need to react to things. You shouldn't worry about what happened between us today. I worry about that dream. I wanted you to know that, in my mind, I really wish it had been different, and that I hadn't hurt you like I did." Do you want me to hate you again? I can go back to hating you if that's what you want." What I want is for you to find a way to be okay again. I want to help to set some of the things right that can be set right." You can't take it back, or make it like it never happened, and that is the only thing that would make it right." I know that. I want to make it better though. I want to make it less harmful to you in any way I can." Yesterday helped to do that. If you can accept that I might want to use. She had her head bowed, and she looked mortified atbeing outside in her sissy maid's dress. When we got to the car Ifumbled about in my handbag and pretended I had left the car keys atMadam Helga's.I turned to my sissy and said, "Sophie, I seem to have lost my car keys.I want you to wait here while I go back to Madam Helga's and look forthem. I want you to be a good girl while I am gone. Don't talk toanybody, and don't look at anybody. Do you understand?"Sophie whispered, "Yes Mistress."I stood there scowling at Sophie with my arms folded, and said, "Well?"Sophie looked confused. I almost laughed out loud. "Well. I expect acurtsy when I give you a command sissy."Sophie quickly gathered her skirts and gave me a very poor curtsy justas two women passed us on the pavement. My husband's face turned scarletwhen he heard one of the women mumble to her friend. "I told you it wasa man. What a pathetic loser." We could hear both women giggling andlaughing as they walked down the road. I.
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