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The world can reach in and touch you, but you do not reach out. Instead, you are fully within yourself." Sid said."For me, the key was to first find a place inside myself where nothing existed except my self." Trunk said. "Once I could find that place, I could begin to let my consciousness flow out to fill up the rest of me." That is one approach, a device. Closing your eyes is a device. Chanting a phrase repeatedly is a device." Sid said.I already knew about that place inside myself where nothing existed except me. I went there a lot when I worked within a river. It was the rest of me that I was unsure of, but it was a start at least. I did close my eyes, but I resisted the urge to try one of the chants I remembered hearing the Sisters droning every morning from the Pontir Tower.I must've lost myself in something, because Sid had to gently rouse my attention when it was time to go. We gave the horses a good rub down before we saddled them back up, double-checked to make sure our. "I turned my back and pulled my helmet out of my locker."About that?"I turned back."I don't think it's fair that I have to take a test every week. Nobody else does. I'm clean, that should be enough."I decided that I really needed to stop trying to help people. I remembered deciding not to get involved anymore before dinner at Darlene's last year. How many times have I made that decision? Hell, I never did get my ribs."We had a deal," I said simply."Yeah, but, I'm clean. I'm already back on the team, and I'm doing great."That was true. Half a dozen sports writers were saying that he was cinch for all-state."We had a deal. You don't want to test, don't come back." You can't do that. Only the coach can kick me out."I sighed. "Try me. Remember my little medical expert? Think she can't tell me how to make your sample test positive?" I wondered if she would - She seemed a little goody-goody, but there was always Cousin Cin. "Then goodbye high school ball, goodbye college." You wouldn't."I.
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