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Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. The rabbi responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins, and the rabbi pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue."Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won. "I haven't a clue," said the rabbi. "First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here."And then what?" asked a woman."Who knows?" said the rabbi. "He took out his lunch so I took out mine."The Donald is elected president...On the first night he spends in the White House, he is visited by the ghost of George Washington. He asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"The ghost of. John found Todd in the office. The manager was talking to his girlfriend on the phone."Excuse me, Todd," John said. Todd's smile turned into an annoyed frown."Yeah, John," Todd said. "What do you want?" Can I clock out?" Is everything full in the dining room?" the manager asked."No, sir," John answered. "I was 'sposed to go home at ten and-" What's the hurry, John?" Todd asked. "You got a hot date with another emo boy? You emo boys kiss and make out, right?" No," John answered sharply. As if I could be that lucky, he didn't add. John wasn't even sure that he was even really emo. He dyed his hair black, but he didn't wear the classic emo cut. He wore his hair kind of long and parted so that some just naturally fell over one eye. John believed in being truthful about his emotions, which was emo. His life wasn't a lot of fun sometimes, but he didn't feel his life was as painful as it seemed to be for most real emo kids. "I need to get home before the curfew." Minors weren't allowed to.
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