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I must have looked like shit. The Gods know I certainly felt like it. After getting no response from several attempts to speak to me that evening, She dragged me to a room away from the others."I know you're hurting, Matt" she began. "I'd like to tell you that it will get better. I'm not going to lie and do that, because it won't. You should know that. You lived through both a close friend, and your father's deaths before. Perhaps it's time you looked at the differences between now and then."At least she got a response. "That was tough, there's no denying it. When Bryan was killed, it was the first time I had lost a friend. I didn't know how to deal with grief of any kind. Dad was much, much worse. I felt that I had let him down most of my life. I'd been nothing but a huge dissapointment to him. What really hurt, was that I tried to remember the last time I'd told him that I loved him. I couldn't do it. I don't know that I ever did tell him."And now," mom asked? "When was the last. Without missing a beat the same voice announced that he had just seen the Coach on the next aisle over, the last one. Now if I had been thinking clearly, with my head and not my vagina, I would have asked for him to meet me in his office but with all the eye candy in view I felt like a k** in a toy store. As I slowly walked by the team, brushing up against everyone I encountered, I felt a burning and yearning deep in my soul that I knew needed quenching. The assorted complexion of the team; caramel, various shades of brown and even coal black, some with facial hair, others clean shaven, giants among mortals, all hung to their knees, well almost any way, was like walking through a dream. Rounding the last aisle I found no one, no Coach, just a dead end and more lockers. As I turned around there were twelve hungry young lions descending on me, the lone lamp. I was prey for these predators and it excited me no end.Now back in my teens I had found myself in this situation numerous times.
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