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When I am there I work. Mostly I don’t have time to chase pussy even if I had the desire. If you take this trip we won’t last. Even if you aren’t planning to cheat on me you will get drunk and slip or those two will talk you into cheating. I promise you that will end us. I won’t let you take off like that and expect to come back and find it like it is now. Is that what you want? Are you trying to break up with me?’ ‘Oh, no Honey. Never. You’re my main man and will be even after this little trip is over. We’ll go off and see the good old U S of A then I’ll come back to you and be your own personal woman for the rest of my life.’ ‘Polly I had better be your ONLY man. If you do this trip you’ll never be my woman again. I won’t put up with you sleeping around and running around with those two sluts.’ ‘Oh, silly, of course I’ll be your woman. I told you I would come home and you’d be my main man. Now let it go. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.’ The rest of the evening was a blur in. And each other.”Jessica was right. Kara really was the innocent party here. And when I thought about it, she’d always been the innocent party. Even when she walked out on me, it was really my fault for not doing a better job of protecting her. For not being the man she needed me to be. That had been true with Becky the first time and Becky the second time. And true with the incidents with Joyce. And with what had happened with Jessica. My actions had led to these problems.I recalled Sensei Jim’s admonition that all parties had some amount of fault, and I was sure there was something that Kara had done wrong, but I couldn’t put my finger on it, and truthfully, I didn’t even want to try. I didn’t want to do a single thing to take away my faults and my flaws. In the end, I’d blown it. Big time. And now I had to hope that we could put the pieces back together.“Yes, I’ll try,” Kara said slowly. “Because I love you two and Birgit more than anything in the world.”February 12, 1989, Chicago,.
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