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I begin to ask you questions as to why you are here to see the doctor. I can tell that you are having a hard time concentrating on your answers because you are focusing on the way that I am sucking on the end of my pencil; pushing it in and out of my mouth—even licking it with my tongue. When I am done asking questions I ask you to take your shirt off. I stand up and can't help but notice that you are staring at my titties. They are straining at the buttons of my low cut uniform. I drop my pencil on the floor so that I can bend over and give you a full view down the front of my dress. I am not wearing a bra and you get a nice long look at my big round tits. I hear you softly moan in appreciation. I stand up and walk over to where you are sitting on the examining table. I reach over to get the blood pressure cuff and I make sure to rub my titties up against you as much as I can. I can feel my nipples getting hard, and I know that you can see this through my dress. I can see that. I saw myself standing over my stepdad with a baseball bat clutched in my hands. He was dead, and lying at his feet was an axe much like the one in the hardware store. I was thirteen years old when I killed my first stepdad. I remember waking to screams. I was deep in a sleep that only a child could sleep. Now, thinking back on things, I imagine that night was the last time I slept like a normal person. Sleep has evaded me since, and when it does come it is brief and hectic. I may sleep for two or three hours on an exceptionally good night, but most nights sleep does not come at all. When I do sleep it is disjointed and broken by constant waking, or punctuated with random incoherent dreams. Over the years I have tried all manner of sleep medicines , and in time I grew so tired and dejected with the side effects and vertigo that I stopped taking medicine altogether. Now, after so many ears of insomnia, I have simply learned to live with it. The sound of my sister screaming tore me from.
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