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"I don't need to pay a damn ticket."Mistress Rebecca pulled to the shoulder of the highway. She lowed herwindow and waited as the patrolman approached her. He stopped justshort of the door. "Ma'am, can I see your license and registration?" heasked.She fished her license out of her purse, then opened the glovecompartment for her registration."Is there a problem, officer?" Not if you're Danica Patrick at Daytona, ma'am. You were in a bit of ahurry, weren't you? Speed much?" I didn't realize it, officer. How fast was I going?" I clocked you at 85," the officer said. "You know what they say: Drivelike hell, and you'll get there." I'm sorry, officer. I really am." Have you been drinking?" No sir. Not a drop."He walked around the car. He was wearing Ray-Bans and one of thosewide-brim hats. Standard issue. He peered in the back door and saw me."Ma'am," he said to me. "Do you have an identification?"My mouth went dry. I had trouble breathing. I knew what he was going tosee if he looked at my. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." What about that eye patch?" Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Then:K N O W L E D G E11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%H A R D W O R K8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%But,A T T I T U D E1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%And,B U L L S H I T2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%So, it stands to reason that knowledge and hard work will get you.
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