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Blinking, half in shock, half in delight, he read: PERRY MASON STILL HOT FOR TEACHER? MWF IN SEARCH OF LONG-LOST HUSBAND. I STILL LOVE YOU. PLEASE COME HOME OR CONTACT ME AT THE FOLLOWING PO BOX. He’d known the ad had been placed by Sarah. In the early months of their relationship, she’d begun teasingly calling him Perry Mason whenever he got sidetracked discussing his work. The private joke between them had gotten carried along further when he’d had the hired band play Van Halen’s ‘Hot for Teacher’ at their wedding reception, he remembered. He remembered! Flipping through the papers, he saw that he’d kept the classifieds from at least three different months, all with the same ad circled in each one. More vaguely now, he remembered how he’d had a habit since college of perusing the Personals every morning as he ate breakfast and would often share a laugh with Sarah over some of the more offbeat ones. Seeing that ad in the Atlanta newspaper, which he’d picked up for old times sake. " A surge of joy filled me at thosewords.Mommy sniffled as she said, "Thank you for that. There was a few otherthings I was wondering about, if you don't mind my asking." Lay it on me," said Tina."Why a white girl? I guess I don't really mind. I always wanted to seewhat it was like to be white. Still, I was just wondering." That's just how it goes. The changes always tend to be radical andusually trend toward female and younger. Anything else?" What... what are you?" Mommy sounded apologetic. "I don't mean to giveoffense but... are you even human?"Tina chuckled. "I'm mostly human. Well, I used to be. It's a trade-off. Iaccepted a burden that required giving up certain things. If you're goingto play with the big boys, you gotta bring it." That sounds like a terrible weight to bear." Well, it's about being down with responsibility. You should understandthat in your situation."Mommy's voice shook a little as she said, "I... I just realized that I'monly nineteen. I was a scumbag criminal.
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