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. I don't think so. The President is winding down our involvement. Supposedly the Iraqis and Afghans are going to look after themselves. What a joke!"Mike was suddenly aware that Brenda had reached out and taken his hand, holding it tightly as he told her about his experience. He looked down at her grasp then up to her eyes. He saw concern but something else as well. He felt his chest tighten and his face flush from the contact. His mind was racing but to where?They both tried to speak at the same time, then stopped, each waiting for the other. It was Mike that resumed."Brenda ... I've never forgotten those months we were together in Providence. I've carried the memories of them with me ever since. I ... I never found anyone I thought compared to you." I have fond memories of that time too, Mike. You were my first. No woman ever forgets her first. You made it right for a naïve teenager trying to be a woman." If ... if I asked you out ... for a date I mean, would you?" he asked. So impatient. So little faith that I...he doesn't believe the depth of what I am feeling, just that I don't or can't express it to him the same way. I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to hurt him. I can't have him the way I want. I can't be to him what he wants. But he thinks that I am saying no to him, when if he listened...if he had faith...he would know that I am saying no to myself. And not to him. And that I am leaving the future open, because... But he wants the future now. And I don't know. So I am careful of what I say. I am careful of not saying things which would hurt him. Or me. And he doesn't get it. He doesn't get that I understand him, and that I am not trying to push him away. Just that I am trying to be true to myself. He lay beside her, feeling no warmth from her body, because he had been careful to create that space between them on the bed. He watched her, as her chest gently rose and fell with her breath, as her face lay there motionless but not.
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