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Meaningless words, maybe, because shecouldn't know what might happen, but I cherished the affection behindthose words.We had hot jasmine tea in the family room, and watched a dumb oldscience fiction movie with the sound off, while we made up dialogue forthe characters. Then we hugged, and it was time for home, and bed.Saturday was super hot, as soon as the sun came up. There was nobreeze. The poor pansies and petunias in the front garden were wilting,even though they were special hybrids meant to tolerate the heat. I puton some loose muslin drawstring pants and a striped peasant top; it hadlong sleeves, but despite the heat I felt the need to still protect mylimbs from the dogs and cats, so I would have to put up with a littlediscomfort. It was too hot to cook any breakfast, so I had some cerealand rode off to Cho's shelter.She was already there when I arrived. The shelter was sweltering. Itturned out that one of our duties today would be to cool off theanimals by grooming some of. Exactly one week since I learnt how it really feels to lose someone precious. Nothing changes and everything goes on. You have to, too. Somehow.I'm vaguely conscious of your presence. It does not fill my head like it's supposed to. The fire's been reduced to a spark that needs to be fanned. Even when I look up into your dark eyes, it's a struggle to recognise the passion, compassion and primal lust in them. I miss your eyes. I miss your gaze. It gives me my worth, and I need to feel worthy today more than ever.Shutting my eyes, I shift slightly in my bonds. The cloth that binds my wrists to the old metal bed-frame does not hurt. It does not even restrict my movements or hold me firmly in place. Yet, there is no desire to escape or fight. Perhaps it is the dense humidity. Perhaps it is the emptiness inside that numbs the senses you're trying to awaken. Perhaps I just never want to run from you. I belong with you, to you.You sit on the bed, beside me, drinking in my spread form. For a.
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