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His mind was reeling; where was he? The last thing he remembered was that he had been in bed at his apartment, the crappy, dingy apartment that was all he could afford after his wife had tossed him out. He remembered waking up with a crushing pain in his chest, and then he remembered the blackness coming up in his mind. Now there was blackness again, no, not quite blackness, as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room. He could see the red numbers of a clock across the room showing 3:17. Then he realized that he was not wearing his glasses; how the hell was he seeing across the room?He threw the covers off and went to sit up. Again, something was not right. The pain that usually accompanied moving was not there. He felt great, his back did not hurt, his throat did not hurt, he moved smoothly, lightly and easily. His hand went to his body and he realized he was different, much thinner, and much firmer. He stumbled out of the bed and over toward the glowing face of the clock. He. "I couldn't believe it when he beat his chest again like a fucking gorilla (I assumed it must have been some sort of fucking Russian tradition I didn't know about) and answered, "Yes, I take you to your room so you rest then I look for bag and interpreter."Thank god there wasn't a problem with the check-in, I figured this being Russia it would be some sort of Mongolian Cluster Fuck but instead it went smoothly. The bellhop took me up to my room, opened the door, turned to me, beat on his fucking chest again and questioned, "Da! Room is nice?"I had seen better, but compared to the hell hole in Thule I'd just escaped from, this was paradise. I mimicked the bellhop, beat on my chest and said, "Da, room is nice."He laughed and said, "Da, we teach to speak Russian soon." Then he held out his hand, I knew what he wanted so I gave him a couple bucks. For once he didn't beat on his chest, he smiled and said, "I go to find bag and interpreter."Once I was sure he left, I double locked the door,.
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