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(See what I did there?)Anyway, back to the Bangers. (You didn't really think I'd put the word 'banger' in a story without actually yanking hard on that obvious an innuendo, did you?) For you Luddites and Frenchies out there who don't know what a banger is, it's a sausage. Okay, okay. Knock off the fucking giggling. This isn't a damn comedy. As it happens, the English have been making sausages way longer than the Germans, and as anyone who knows me will tell you, I love sausages. (I know what you're thinking and if you so much as fucking smirk, I swear I'm going reach out and slap the shit out of you.)Right, so I was dithering between the Toad in the Hole and the Bubble and Squeak when I was greeted by a curvaceous woman in a bright red 'Mrs Santa' outfit. She was a round woman, Rubenesqu even, as a friend would later say. I didn't know about that. I thought a Ruben was a sandwich, but what the hell. I prefer a woman who can appreciate a good hoagie anyway. Specks of red and green. Baad me unki gaand me jadd gaya unki gand me mera land tha phir 5mins. baad mene phirse jatke lagana start karr diya 6.20 baje the mene phie se unki gaand me jadd gaya ab jaldi uthe aur clothes pehne aur last smooch kiya 5mins. takk lip kiss kiya phir vo bahar nikli aur sabhi doors ke lock open karr ke jaldi se uske room me chali gaie 7 baje sabhi logg uthe aur fresh hokar nasta karr ne ke liye aa gaye muje bahot hi fever tha mere face pe se clear dikh raha tha ki me puri raat nahi soya hu aunty boli tuje to tezz bukhar he chal me tuje nasta deke medicine dediti hu me jaldi se mere room me chala gaya thodi der me DR. aaye unhone muje aur hiral jo medicine de aur bola complete bed rest lene ko aunty boli hame to jaana he ab hiral to travelling nahi karr sakti muje bola ek kaam karr tu kal ya parso hiral ko ghar pe chodd jana mene ok kaha sabhi log chale gaye hum AC. vale room me chale gaye aur apne clothes nikal ke hugg kiya me hiral ki chuth me 2 finger daal ke andar bahar karr raha.
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