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I waslosing it....I walked up to about 3 steps from him....unable to doanything, to be anything...my arms at my side....I couldn't do it....Icouldn't do anything....He was leaning on the counter; I couldn't tell If he was wearinganything under the thick white hotel robe, but his chest and legs werebare....he put his drink down on the counter and came up to me slowly...Gently, he put his arms around me and pulled my head into hischest...one hand on my lower back and the other on my head, juststroking my hair slowly..."Shhhhh, baby...it's ok...shhhhhh....shhhhhh....." We were quiettogether for a few minutes....I was lost...we had started to balancetogether, feeling each other's weight....I opened my eyes and drew aquick breath seeing the left inside of his robe right in front of myface, now resting on his bare chest..."..shhhhhhhh" he said againslowly...."tell me, baby..." I....I....don't know if I...if I can.....I don't know if I can......" Just stay in my arms,. When I got home, I plopped down on the couch and turned on Netflix, just like many other girls in their twenties. I groaned some more as I remembered that Billy and I shared the same account. I was syphoning off him! I was leeching him! I chose something on my queue—I didn’t know what—that could play in the background as I wallowed in my misery. I remembered all of my thoughts from the way to the police station. I remembered the thrill I got as I thought of being the first woman Billy had sex with. I turned my brain off. I didn’t want to think about fulfilling my desires through Billy. But my brain wouldn’t turn itself off. I began thinking about how much I loved Billy. Then it hit me. That was the whole reason why I enthralled in being the one to take his virginity. Because I loved him. That was why I was so possessive of him. I loved him. I loved him with all my heart. He was one of the greatest people I knew. He deserved the best, and it was up to me to be the best girlfriend I.
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