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I couldn't tell my mother that so I lied."We are trying mother, it just hasn't happened yet."It was the wrong thing to say because at least once a week after that she would ask if anything had happened yet and I would say no, that we were still trying. This went on for about six months and then she started giving me advice on things I could do that would increase my chances of getting pregnant. I would say that I would try them and in the next phone conversation I would tell her that I had, but that so far nothing was happening.I got to where I dreaded talking to her on the phone. I bought myself a brief respite one day when I lost it and went off on her. I was having a bad day anyway and when the phone rang and I answered it and heard my mother say "Hello Joan" I just said, "Good morning mother and no, I am not pregnant." Then we got into an argument and I told her that it seemed like the only reason she ever called me was to see if I was going to have a god damned baby. We didn't. I fleetingly consider leaving in a note for Tom but then remember the warning and quickly abandon the idea. I can always call him later. When I leave the house, the weather seems worse than ever. Barely anyone on the streets or outside and by the time I arrive at the train station and pay for my ticket I am soaking wet and cold. I board the train with 10 minutes still to spare. There are a few other people in the carriage but not many. No one that catches my eye at any rate. It is only as I turn to look out of the window as the train pulls away that I see him. The Stranger. A couple of platforms over, watching me. Even the sight of him causes my breath to catch in my throat. A sudden quickening of my pulse. He smiles at me and I feel a sudden rush of heat between my legs. The feeling amplified by the seam of my jeans biting between my crossed legs as I lean forward, watching him fade away.~ It takes almost exactly 4 hours to get to Allan station. I take the time to dry out and try to.
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