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My mind turned inward, back to the boy at the gas station. There was nodoubt I'd found him attractive. To deny that would be nothing more thana lie. The memory was uncomfortable, but not revolting. Then I thoughtabout the girl who'd been with him. Her large, firm breasts and prettyface. As well as the shapely legs flowing out of the hem of her skirt.Before yesterday, I would have given her a lengthy, appreciativeexamination. Not too different from the one I'd given the barista at thecaf?.Now, however, I realized that I didn't feel any attraction to her. Zero.Instead, the sensation rolling through me as her image floated in mybrain was jealously. I disliked her immensely. Not just because she'dnotified the authorities on us. No, this was because she was with a guyI thought was hot.She was competition.After a while, I shook off the alien thoughts and began to rummagearound inside the garbage bags. Most of the clothes were adult-sized,but half of one of the bags was filled with the. "What’s that Carolyn?" I asked, trying to sound calm."Oh I know you'll enjoy this every bit as much as I did darling. You just never learn do you?” She questioned, the anger and tears burning in her eyes, her hands clenched together in frustration. “Every time I think you have and that we have moved a step forwards, you go and move several steps back by doing stupid shit.”I watched as she took my cell phone out of her pocket and stood frozen, unable to move or think gulping as I tried to think of the words."Well...what and how are you going to try to explain yourself this time Rowan?" My throat was dry as I could hardly get out the words. "I can’t..." She smiled a bitter smile, "Come on. You can do better than that! What happened to the creative girl I fell in love with?"I frowned. I was almost crying now. I really did not want to lose her. Everything I did though was just one more fuck up. I couldn't seem to breathe without fucking up. The story of my damn life."I'll do anything to.
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