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I wanted to kiss away his frustration and fear. I wanted to hug him tome and whisper away his anxieties and concerns. I wanted to lick andkiss and suck his thick, hard prick. I wanted to make wild, passionatelove to him, to feel his cock deep in my ass. I wanted to feel the warmflood of his semen over my bare buttocks and my naked back. I wantedhim thrusting deep and fast and hard inside me, so that I was rockedand hammered and pounded before him, my tits jiggling and bobbing andmy genitals shaking and swaying. I wanted him to take revenge on me,brutally and savagely, through sex. I wanted him to know that, despitemy refusal to acquiesce to his demands that I castrate myself, evensymbolically and temporarily, he was the decision-maker in regard toeverything else. In our personal lives, and especially in the bedroom,Carlos was the man; he was the person in charge, and I would submit tohis will, whatever it might be. By taking me brutally in the ass,Carlos could reassert his dominance. " Potty training?" James said."Was that a difficult time for you?" the therapist said.James considered. "I don't think so. I don't recall anything about it."The therapist glanced at his wristwatch. "Let me ask you something." Okay." What do you think about when you, uh, masturbate? Is there a particular thought in mind, an image?"James cleared his throat. "I'm not sure," he said."Well can you give me an idea?"Tell him, Jamie. Get it out. "It's like, how can I say it-- " Just say it in words you say to yourself."Right." He swallowed, looked down at the therapist's shoes. He wished he had chosen a female therapist, it might be easier to admit it to a woman. "I imagine . . . I'm having sex." He almost said "getting fucked"."I see," He looked away from James a moment, then back at him as he said, "Who do you imagine having sex with?" Nobody, really. It's like just a man having sex with me. Not anybody I know." A man. I see." The therapist looked at his shoe. "Do you imagine it as a.
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