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I found some books on the dresser and tried reading. I even tried reading The Zombie Survival Guide, an instruction manual on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. Around 5am I got up and went to get some water. The layout meant going right past James as he was sleeping. I looked down at him as I crept by. He had left the bathroom light on so I could see where I was going if I got up. In the kitchen I got a big glass of water and stood there drinking it quietly as I watched him sleep. Feelings of loneliness and rejection were running through me. The only man I had ever truly loved did not even care enough to call me. I know I told him I would call him and I did. He had chosen not to speak to me. I had never heard of Jessica and that worried me. I thought back to all the times we had spent together, my insecurities the first night. Was I just being stupid? Or, of more concern, was I being stupid by clinging to a belief in something that was already over Peters mind. Was it over? I. .. I'm miles away from home and only ever talk to her on the phone... and it's so bloody expensive. But even so, Mum is so caught up in her dogs and life up in Scotland that when I do talk to her I can't really talk to her about what I want to. OK, it's better when I go up to Scotland but I can't afford to do that often. Now I've fallen in love and there's no-one I can talk to... and I don't know what to do." Princess, as I told you this morning, you are not in love with me and you will realise that. You love me. Yes! And I love you but we are not in love. To put it crudely, yes, you love me for the person I am but at the moment you are also in lust with me because I have shown you the difference between having sex and making love." But, I do love you!" OK! So, will you marry me?" I can't. You're already married and anyway you're much older than me." Ah!" Damn! I didn't mean that." But it's true, isn't it?" Yes... Well, I suppose so." So, my Princess, why not enjoy what is happening?.
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