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He usually tried to work on the novel for a couple of hours at night, but knew that would be pointless in his present mood. He turned the television on, not really paying attention.The movie Serendipity was showing on cable. Greg had seen it twice, and all the romance only made him feel worse. The Sara character struck him, though. The woman he saw in his cab, the one with the amazing eyes, looked a little like Kate Beckinsale. But more like in Van Helsing, with the long dark hair.The woman in the cab was even more beautiful. She was hypnotic, enchanting, bewitching. Her face stayed with Greg, he couldn't shake it, and he knew she was the real reason for his depression. Something about her reminded him of everything missing in his life.He went to bed and masturbated, thinking about the woman. And, when he slept, he dreamt of her.When Nelah awakened, it was mid-day. She felt groggy, the way she always did after a feeding session. She needed them more often now, because her time was. What was I doing in bed still at that time? Well, being a writer, I write when inspiration hits. Which means if I dream something up at one am, I'm up until it's out of me.But last night had not been about inspiration. No, it was frustration that had me up to all hours, writing and deleting, rewriting and deleting more. Finally, after staring at my computer and picturing what it would look like outside the front window, shattered glass all around it, the delicate wires and boards strewn on the sidewalk, I decided to go to bed, tossing and turning until the wee hours of the morning. So when I got up to take my sister to school, I had only been asleep about an hour.As I lay there, my head tilted up on my favorite feather pillow, watching the storm clouds dance across the sky through the window that was right above the head of my bed, that same frustration still filled me. Why couldn't things come out the way I wanted? I sometimes thought that the characters in my books and stories were.
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