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So down the road we went, windows rolled up getting high as kites. The pot was extremely potent, and after smoking only half the joint I put the rest in my pocket, saving it for later. Chelsea laughingly said she would be the navigator, and directed me on a route that took us to an absolutely massive complex of buildings - the Queen of Russia shopping mall. As I suspected, she led me this way on purpose. Chelsea told me this was the largest mall on the east coast, with eight department stores and over 350 specialty shops - a regular "Who's Who" of retailing. It was just prior to 10 A.M., opening time at the mall, and on a whim I said we should go in. Chelsea had hoped I would say this! She said that school was boring, and that the mall was her favorite place in the whole world. So I turned off the highway and into a sea of parking lot asphalt, knowing that I would not be the one getting in trouble if this girl was caught playing hooky from school.The shopping mall was nearly empty on. "Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh," Lisa screamed as the tentacle touched her body. A white hot star exploded in her chest causing pulses of raw pleasure to course out reaching her toes and fingertips. "I am sorry, so sorry," he apologized. "I think I just found my faith," Lisa replied as she caught her breath, "What was that?" "Being omnipresent means seeing rather a lot of sex. The human population of earth at this exact second is 7,123,338,433. If each human has an orgasm lasting one second twice a week over the course of their life, that makes 23,061 humans having an orgasm right now. You share in those whenever you touch my body." "Then let me catch my breath and touch me again." Lisa quipped. "I am not that sort of pasta!" The putative deity snapped, then realized Lisa had been joking and returned to making apologies. Eventually the pasta pulled itself together. "If only you had chosen a more useful deity to not believe in," it continued, "I might have done something useful like cure disease.
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