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"It won't work, Rory wants me to screw a man in our bedroom and video tape it." Well then you're out of luck Lauren, sorry, I'm not taking the kind of chance that you want me to just to save your ass, even as cute as it currently is." Dave said."Oh, thanks a lot, that's real funny. Go ahead, make jokes at my expense. Why don't you tell some dumb blonde jokes now? Damn it Dave, I'm in trouble, what are friends for if they can't help you when you're in trouble. Wasn't I there for you when Alice left you and you were so depressed? Didn't I help you out when you lost your job because the company went bankrupt and you needed money?" Lauren looked like she was going to cry again. 'She's right, Dave thought, 'I am her best friend and I ought to at least try and do something to help.'"Look, why don't I go back to your place with you and look at the setup in the bed room, maybe I could disguise myself somehow, maybe I can help you after all." Dave had a bad feeling about this but he owed. You always had a different look on yourface when I used to wear it to go out. You couldn't wait to get me out ofit then, it was your favourite then, why not now?Ah! It is the dress is it? That old problem down there again when I wearit, is that it? Well we have discussed it enough times, your little thingis not really big enough to satisfy any woman properly, is it? So letsnot go over it again, it doesn't satisfy either of us when you try, noteven you, last time you ended up crying when you tried.No, we have tried enough times, trying once more wont make any differenceor make either of us satisfied, even if you manage to do littlesquirties.Don't look so sad, I have said I love you and will stick by you haven'tI? There is no need to pull that long face.Oh, that's the problem! Well I have told you it's for your own good. Itis not good for you to beat away on your little thing, and it's adisgusting habit anyway and not helping your condition. It will never getbigger if you continue.
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