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I complied lifting my cardigan and slowly unbuttoning my shirt with trembling fingers. “Now before we do this are you sure”? He asked me. I shakily nodded my head he was asking me if I was really going to sleep with him, I was scared it would be my first time, in a stock cupboard at school ,the shame, but I wanted him. After all my body would not let me refuse. Trailing kisses down my neck across my chest and then finally my pouting nipple in his mouth, he was slowly suckling me while his other hand played with its twin. He switched sides this time the free hand did not go to the other nipple, instead it slowly traveled down my flat mid-drift over my skirt round my thigh and ever slower yet to out side my knickers. Where he proceeded to stroke my body up and down. He stopped kissing me kneeled on his knees and put my legs over his shoulder. “Lift your bottom, I’m going to take of your panties”. I complied, he slowly pulled them up and took them of and placed them to one side. He. He finally met me eyes, and I felt my insides rip and part of me tumble out. There was pain in those eyes, and I knew the speech. I had it memorized. I closed my eyes, turning away, heading for the door. ‘Kate, please. Let me explain…’ ‘Explain what?’ Did I sound bitter? Probably, but I was proud that my voice stayed steady, not sign of how shaky I felt. His voice was strong and clear, no sign of indecision. ‘You know as much as me that this was a mistake, we never should have even started this.’ I snorted, not the most lady like thing to do but I couldn’t help it as the rip inside was filled up with anger. ‘The only reason it’s a mistake on my part, is because I fucked you even knowing that you were going to throw me away once you came. That is my mistake.’ He was silent, and I prayed that the words cut as deep into him as his rejection had cut into me. His voice was small now, ‘You know why I can’t keep doing this.’ I knew why, mostly because he never let it go. How many times.
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