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The children were brought into the interview room and we were given some privacy. I had no idea if anyone was watching through the glass or recording anything that was said. It didn't matter. We had nothing to hide."Daddy," a tearful Debbie said and she rushed into my arms. "It's horrible. Mom's dead. I can't believe it. She's dead."Billy was silent, but the tears were evident even though he was trying to hold them back. Big boys don't cry.Sandy simply came and held onto my hand. I was her lifeline at that point. I had no idea what to say or do yet. I still hadn't really come to terms that Diane was gone and would never return. I felt a hollowness I had never experienced before. What could I say to my children that would make it better?The police department had provided a van to take us home. It was a wordless ride with only the sounds of sobbing interrupting the silence. When we arrived at our home, I saw my Outback in the driveway. Someone had thoughtfully brought it from the Silver. I couldn't have said why I didthat. Maybe, I just thought I could use a nice hot shower.Unfortunately, the reason why I had been avoiding such a cleansingreared its head as soon as I started the water to warm it up. Namely,to take a shower, I had to remove my clothes. In doing so, there wasno way to avoid looking at my female body. After that, I'd have totouch it to wash it. Every moment of the task would be a poignantreminder of my change."Damn it," I grumbled as I set about stripping, trying to pretend likeit was just like before the run in at the mall. After all, I hadn'teven been bothering to wear a bra while I'd lain around the apartment,and panties were sort of like briefs, so my clothes weren't overlygirly. The wobble of my boobs and thickness of my hips were hard toignore, but if I just closed my eyes and pretended that I'd just puton some weight, maybe ...Try as I might, all efforts to delude myself failed utterly. Evenjust standing there, they weren't effective and.
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