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I was being forced to perform an illegal activity underthreat of the law. Did this strike anyone else as odd? It was liketraveling the American West and being told that stage-robbing was acrime, and therefore, you are required to rob stagecoaches.That night, we had a government reception in honor of our storyproduction. I wore a long black dress and a blonde wig. Black heels andmakeup. I felt like a clown.One by one, I was introduced to the male dignitaries in the crowd. Someof them wore the white Bukkas. Some wore military-style jackets, alladorned with ribbons. Amir escorted me around the room, my hands foldedaround his bicep. I was Sarafina, but I felt like Scarlett O'Hara.At one point, I looked across the room. There was Jabar. He tipped hishat toward me. I nodded and continued to move around the room."Well, aren't you a vision?" a voice said.I looked up. It was Val. "Are you going to ride my ass a little more?" Isaid."Well, do you have a strap-on?" she said, giggling."Stop it.". My sausage casings were not containing these farts at all and, soon enough, my activities were noticed by the grump behind the wheel. I could see his nose twitch in the rearview mirror and eventually, his eyes shot up to take my oh so innocent appearance in with some considerable accusation "Have you farted?"I tried to look surprised, but it didn't work. I could feel another brewing at that very moment. I shrugged and batted my eyelids "Yeah, sorry. Christmas eh? Too much rich food"But this grumpy git wasn't the type to fall for my girlie charms and he groaned with horror before pulling the car up kerbside. "What?" I asked "What are you doing?" You know what" he said, jerking his head towards the pavement as he switched the meter off "Out" Out?" I asked. By my reckoning I was a good five minute walk from home "You're actually chucking me out....for farting?" It fuckin' reeks in here" he complained "Go on, hop it" But it's Christmas" I protested weakly "C'mon where's your Christmas.
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