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One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary guy” he said to her “but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million”. Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at financial planning than men.What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection? Cracker with cheese.“Dad is it better to pass or fail?” “To pass of course” “Oh good you’ll be proud of me! I passed my pregnancy test”Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down their local bar, when one said to the other “If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?” “Yeah, sure thing” replied his friend “fire away”. “Well” said the first guy “why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?” “It’s probably because of her speech impediment” replied the second guy.. I’m exhausted.’ ‘Me too.’ ‘Me three!’ Kate joins in, popping up from behind and wrapping her arms around our necks. ‘What are we talking about?’ Em rolls her eyes. ‘Going back to the hostel. You in, or are you going to hit a club with the rest of them?’ Kate gnaws on her lower lip as she thinks. ‘Club. I’ve been in a shit mood because of you know who, and he’s not going tonight. Might finally get some action.’ ‘You already had action,’ I comment, shrugging off her arm and making my way to the door. ‘Yeah, but that was tainted action.’ ‘Only after the fact.’ ‘The fact still happened.’ ‘Okay. So, we’ll see you when you get back?’ I turn to her once we’re on the sidewalk, half the group already moving across the street and toward Temple Bar. ‘Yeah. Don’t wait up!’ Em sidles up next to me as Kate dodges traffic and catches up with the other group. Bumping my hip, she asks, ‘Ready?’ I nod, reaching again for my phone to check the time. Funny how it’s still not in my back pocket. ‘Here.’.
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