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But when Julian and I rounded the corner of the stairs, heading up to the men’s shower floor, I saw that there weren’t really any customs as to where clothes should be worn or carried. Involuntarily, I took in my first sight of nudity, as two men walked right past us to their lockers. Right behind them were two fully clothed guys who looked to be our age. It was definitely a strange place where the people were much more comfortable with themselves than Americans could ever be. There were three sections of the floor: lockers, shower and sauna, and the drying off area. The only rule was that anyone going into the showers had to be completely naked—no bathing suits allowed, because it was believed that the materials in bathing suits might taint the purity of the water in the hot tubs. Julian and I got to our lockers, and I hesitated a moment, then looked at him. “So…is this where we do it?” I asked him. “Yep. Go ahead.” The clothes came off. I made my motions as casually as possible,. Are you an idiot? These people are animals. They hold grudges like you wouldn’t believe. Are you trying to set back US foreign policy single-handedly?”Taylor looked at Andre, who was still standing at Taylor’s shoulder, then said, “You realize Andre here speaks English, right? I’m pretty sure the colonel does, too.”Ellis’s face went even whiter, and he pursed his lips, backing away from Andre and gesturing for Taylor to follow.“One sec,” Taylor said in Russian to Andre and the translator.Andre smiled and waved his friend on. Although he didn’t work with US diplomats often, he wasn’t unfamiliar with Ellis’s type.“You could have warned me. When I get back to my office, I am going to make sure your authorization to stay in the country is revoked, so help me God. You are an absolute menace. If you think...”Taylor took a menacing step forward, and Ellis stopped talking, only realizing at that moment he’d backed himself into a corner, with no open hallway to retreat to.“Listen, jackass, do.
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