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The scriptures are often cited as asserting thedominance of men over women, but that is not so. The Bible is full ofstories of powerful women. In many ways I felt that I was becoming oneof them, slowly but surely.But, as I have explained, the sinful thoughts continued. The onlydifference now was that in private moments of fantasy there was noerection. And more and more often, in my dreams I was not justreceiving my man, but I was doing so as a woman. If that were tohappen, there is no sin. Even if the woman I was had some residualflesh of a manly nature, I could still be a woman. This is how Irationalized my position. My thoughts no longer seemed sinful.I felt that I needed to say something to Dwight. In particular I waspresenting one Sunday, and I could see Dwight looking up at me with whatwas clearly adulation. I had to pause for a moment. The look was sothrilling that I was almost overcome. After a moment of looking skywardbefore a puzzled congregation, I was able to. If you can get seen again, I think you can get by with a minimal dose. Say only a single low-potency pill a day to hold you over. Once you’re okay for a while, have them stop and observe how you do. Just ensure someone watches over you while you’re experimenting.”“I don’t know, man, I had trouble in the past. Shrinks don’t like it when you don’t take the full dosage.”“Part of it is how you speak to them. If you’re thinking clearly, convince them you’ll listen to criticism but want to cut back. Once you do, if you’re stable, you’ll be surprised how receptive they are. Doctors like success more than anything else.”“How did I go from hearing voices shouting at me one minute, to having nothin’ the next? That don’t make no sense.”His benefactor chuckled. “Don’t look gift horses in the mouth. Act on your good fortune. As long as you’re clear headed, try getting your life back on track. Reach out to people and get them to watch out for you, so you’ll know if you start to backslide. The best.
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