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”He said “The shit that used to work,it won’t work now.”-Warren Zevon, “My Shit’s Fucked Up”Contessa Helena de San Finzione sat in the back of the jeep as it tore across the open savannah. She reached down to grab the bottle of water that was rolling around in the seat and opened the little pill bottle she’d picked up at the embassy. In the front seat, Capitano Ramirez checked the feed from the American spy satellite.“We have a fix on the rendezvous point, Contessa.” He looked back at her quizzically as she swallowed the pills.“Few things I picked up before we left town,” she said, closing the water bottle. “Anti-malaria pills, vitamins, couple other things.” Helena looked down at the kid gloves she wore. Jeanne, her maid back at the castle was still new, and when Helena had told her she needed to pack clothes for the jungle, the girl had picked her a safari outfit, complete with pith helmet. Helena had guessed it was technically correct, but that she’d have to talk to her about. I told my friends future mother in law to hold on to my jacket and give it to me tomorrow. She asked me what I was doing tonight. I told her I was just going to drop off my girl then come back to the hotel. Before I dropped my girl off I thought I would set something up so that I could get a little piece of ass before the wedding. I had reserved the room with a jacuzzi and I also threw some rose petals on the bed. My girlfriend however screwed up my plan because she was not feeling well. She just wanted to go home and will see me the next day. I dropped her off and went back to the hotel. I went straight to my room and decided to turn the jacuzzi on. I paid for it so I might as well enjoy it. As soon as I sat down I heard knocking on the door. It was my buddys future mother in law with my jacket. I went to the bathroom and wrapped a towel around me. I opened the door and before I could say anything I noticed her eyes went straight down to the towel. I can tell she was drunk but who.
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