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I had always thought that to be a rarity, and I still think it. It was cheap enough to try on an off-chance, so I paid for a six-month subscription, and the forwarding fee for letters to a wide selection of advertisers. Jewellers are cautious, so I used postal orders and my first Christian name, which I hadn’t used locally since deciding I preferred James to Matthew J. To most I got no reply, unless you count a rash of junk mail for pornographic videos and sexual aids. What I found annoying, after paying £2 a time for forwarding, were the photocopied ‘personal’ letters from females, offering a set of photographs to advance our relationship, if I would just send £10 cash for help with printing and postage. Just one was handwritten and seemed perfect, until she started explaining how irrelevant it was that she’d been born a boy. The person who agreed might find her beyond price, I thought, but it was relevant to me. Only from the couples I nearly always got polite apologies, saying. Kelly was out at gymnastics and Kristi was at some party. Janice was in the tub and I was watching TV. I got up to see him at the door and all I said was go get that money Dave and I flipped him off. He looked completely stunned like he was going to do something about it and then gave up and went out the door with the one nights worth of shitty clothing we had picked out for him. I went upstairs and with my mom in the bathtub I put on his watch and paused time. This was going to be fun. Sunday morning was a pretty fun morning. I was downstairs ready to go to church earlier than normal, being able to control time makes it hard to be late to anything. I heard my sisters and Janice scrambling trying to find something to wear. All of their clothes were still there but all of their underwear had disappeared. I sat watching TV when Kelly came out first dressed in a beautiful white Sunday dress Janice had put out for her last nice but without the underwear Janice had also put out to go with.
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