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And what are you — forty?’ ‘Stupid cow. You are forty and I’m thirty-five.’ ‘Oh yeah.’ ‘Well the little tramp pulled out her cell phone and called a friend while we were doing it, ignoring me completely. Then Averill…um…what’s her surname?’ ‘God, you mean our minister’s daughter?’ ‘Yeah, you know I like to plow new ground. But that’s the one. Anyway, I was at it so long because she wasn’t moving or squeezing me and then she put me right off when she pulled out her file and began doing her nails. These babes today who call themselves hot are a real turn-off.’ ‘Either that or you are the turn-off.’ ‘What was that?” ‘Nothing.’ Charlie swatted a mosquito digging into the side of his nose and the blow made his eyes water. ‘Well, whatever. None of them are a patch on you.’ ‘Oh darling, care to go again? I’m open and extra moist.’ ‘Okay, it’s an alternative to going to bed and sleeping.’ Anna gave Charlie some advice next morning as he prepared to ride off to his motorcycle store, with his. So there it was. Those were my choices. One -- don't try to keep up with the Joneses. Just say no.Two -- go home, call Juniper, and if she's interested, take her home and fuck her again. With condoms, this time. Shake well. Repeat as necessary until one of you decides to call an end to it.Three -- investigate whether maybe this girl deserves to be treated special ... Even if that's not the way she's been treating herself.The only way -- I knew -- that the third option would make even a particle of sense would be if somehow Juniper regarded me as something more than just the most recent left fielder she'd slept with.It was hard for me to see myself as "special." What's so special, after all, about being a college drop-out, fringe ballplayer with only a so-so past personal record with The Other Sex -- not to mention with "relationships" in general?I'd always prided myself in being something of a realist. It's not that I went around putting myself down, but I wasn't sporting an inflated.
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