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I didn’t realize I was yelling at myself until the end. I finally got myself together and drove back to Champaign. When I got to my house, all my close friends were there, waiting to hear from me. When I walked in they all looked at me questioningly and when I teared up, they knew that I had been unsuccessful. They all walked over and gave me a group hug. That was good, because I was so emotionally and physically drained, I was ready to collapse. I pushed my way out of their grasp and walked to the couch and did so. I made one last phone call asking Dennis to please at least talk to me. I felt that I might at least be able to explain how I was feeling and that we might be able to get past this, but he never answered the phone and I left a short message. They tried to console me, but I was alone with my thoughts even while they discussed possibilities. I had fucked up and I had to pay the price. His words. I knew that he was going to be angry for a while, but maybe after a week I. , with thick dark hair that looked finger combed into a messy array that somehow stuck up in all the right places. He had an average build, maybe even a little soft in the middle, but it was his eyes that first drew my attention. They were a dark stormy grey, lined with thick black lashes that seemed to look straight to your soul. They seemed flash with deep emotion, humor, anger, frustration, concern, and passion all within a split second of each other. And when they looked at me, something deep within me shifted, stirred, and warmed. And lately, although no one else seemed to notice me, he was looking a lot. I never thought myself a beautiful woman, but I wasn’t ugly either. A little taller than most and since motherhood, my hips were a little larger than I liked. I had stopped really paying attention to how I looked just glad that I managed to dress everyday in something that wasn’t covered in sticky hand prints. I usually wore dress pants, or a skirt with a blouse or sweater. My.
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