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..even if the story was me.It started out as a private documentary. But, shit, I didn't know whatto do with my life now. I wasn't sure if I'd ever share this withanyone. I wasn't sure where my life was going.I was lost. I felt like an incredible fraud. I felt like a mysticalfreak of nature. I had none of the support intrinsic in the Mongculture. . . . . .I finally had to tell someone. It was Jim, one of my editors, a goodfriend, who I'd shared several global and barroom adventures with. I'dgiven him a sketchy outline of the Laotian story before I'd left. Now,over the phone, my female voice confirmed what I was trying to tellinghim, but it didn't convince him. I told Jim I was scared and felt veryfucked up. I told him there was proof and how he could see my privatev-blog. I gave him an email address to contact me.He'd written at 3 a.m.: "Fuck, Mike! It happened, didn't it?"I wasn't ready to meet him. I wasn't ready to see anyone. I stayed inmy apartment mostly,. Yeah, I know you like the feel of your bare dick inside my cunt, but I am not going to take another chance. Tonight’s dinner date with our friends did not go well. Les is so testy and sensitive. He blamed me for not remembering that we were going out. Honestly, I could not think of anything else but you all weekend. Going back to Chicago! Wow. Our last time in Chicago was terrific. I came three times on that prick. Try to get the same suite, even if I have to pay extra for it. Les has the money, if I don’t. NO. We will call down for room service the way we always do. I am not going to make the whole damn staff get more suspicious. ‘Mr. Big’ paged both of us, in tandem, last time and both of us were so fucking busy he lost a sale. He was pissed! Bye. Les read the entry twice, once standing, once sitting down, then reading the same text through his fingers spread out over his face. He clicked the next earlier entry. It seemed to be from sometime during the previous week.I am getting.
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