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We got through it by the time we had to start seeing kids and once I started work and stopped concentrating so much on what hurt I started feeling better.At noon I got a scare when Terrill came in to my office. He was just dropping off two more DVDs though. One was a short one of me and the two young boys that Nathan had brought to my office the other day. The other was the DVD from the night before last at Cobb's. I didn't think that there was a chance in hell that I would ever want to see it, but I took it.I worked through lunch and after lunch I found that if I got up and walked around between counseling sessions I felt a little better. I didn't tighten up so much.By the time I left at four I was feeling much more normal. Not ready for a bout of rough sex, but able to function normally otherwise.I went home and got undressed and did some laundry. I started a casserole for supper and I noticed that the wine was all gone. I called Dennis and told him I was feeling better and had. Sigh.At least talking about what I’d dreamt was actually making me feel a little more relaxed even though I was still filled with worry. Nearing the end, I debated about telling Amber what I’d cried out as Linda had jumped. Would she get upset because I’d screamed that I loved Linda in my dream? If my sister told me that she’d yelled out that she loved another guy in hers, it would bother the fuck out of me. But then again, I was the one with jealousy issues, not her.Truthfully, I wasn’t exactly sure how she’d react, but I certainly didn’t want her mad at me again. After taking a moment’s respite to relieve myself in the bathroom, I decided to just bite the bullet—so to speak—and to tell her everything. A recent memory of when she had gotten upset with me for not having shared my thoughts and concerns popped into my head. I certainly didn’t want the feeling of guilt that I had inside to start festering or worse because I didn’t open up to share with her again.When I had initially.
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