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"A Poem - by Willie NelsonMy nookie days are over,My pilot light is out.What used to be my pride and joy,Is now my water spout.Time was when, on its own accord,From my trousers it would spring.But now I've got a full time job,To find the friggin thing.It used to be embarrassing,The way it would behave.For every single morning,It would stand and watch me shave.Now as old age approaches,It sure gives me the blues.To see it hang its little head,And watch me tie my shoes!!Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland, UK :1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT2. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.9. QUIET PLEASE ... WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.10.DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.WELL DONE ... NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFFDid I read that sign right?In an office:TOILET OUT OF ORDER ... PLEASE USE. Neither of them felt self-conscious about putting on a show.When they were done, Melissa sneaked back down stairs, and Julie had a quick shower and slipped a nightie on before joining her.“He’s got a massive willy!” Melissa whispered excitedly, making Julie laugh.“Yes, he has, hasn’t he!”“I’ve never seen a stiff one, before.” Her eyes were like saucers. “I can’t wait to touch it!”“Slow down… he’s not even kissed you yet.”“Shall I put that right now?” They both jumped at the sound of his voice. He was stood in the kitchen doorway, wearing only his jeans. “Be my guest,” said Julie, rising to her feet. She kissed him on the cheek as she walked passed him to go back to bed.Half an hour later, Dom returned to the bedroom, and gave her an update. “She’s just gone. We’ve been snogging the whole time. She’s definitely keen! She let me feel her bum and her tits, through her clothes at first, of course. Then I put my hands up inside her t-shirt and unfastened her bra. Her nipples were bigger.
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