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She gave her leg a little kick. The motion only intensified the pain in her upper joints.She wanted to start screaming for mercy and never stop.?Please,? she said.She had barely spoken above a whisper but the room fell silent.?Please stop. Please let me down.? Her quiet words seemed to echo.?Please stop?? There was a sarcastic sneer in Mary’s ghost’s voice. ?That’s what I said. I screamed it until my voice was hoarse. I begged for mercy. Begged for days. The white men laughed at my funny antics. Laughed like I was a clown, performing for their amusement.?No one in this room was laughing.?You know when they let me down?? the ghost voice asked. ?They let me down when they wanted to rape me. That’s when they let me down. When they wanted to spend the rest of the night raping me.?Different silences have a different quality. The silence in the room changed in some indescribable but definite way from fascination to shock. ?They staked me out on the ground and came at me in the dark, alone. Drinking, fucking and work was all I had in my life. Five years and three bouts with the clap later it all came to a head.During my wild oat sowing span I had one basic rule. I would not knowingly persue a married woman. I'm sure one or two slipped through the cracks, but generally if I saw even the slightest sign she was married I cut ties and ran.I had an epiphany following a Lynyrd Skynyrd moment. It was just like the song"Gimme Three Steps"except the place was Ron's not The Jug, and her name wasn't Linda Lu, it was Sandra, or Mona, or some shit like that. I didn't ask him to give me three steps, I took them. What had started out as a typical Friday night changed my life forever.I was in a bar in Deer Park dancing with my intended conquest for the night. I hadn't even gotten around to figuring out if she was married or not. I knew all of the signs were there that she was out to get laid, and she was paying more than ample attention to me.While we were dancing I saw a guy making a.
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