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After I left home, I immersed myself in quantum physics at MIT. I simply didn’t care about religion… or about men. I even resorted to putting a bindi on my forehead just to discourage prospective suitors (though I never returned to prayer). You see, a bindi on a woman of marriageable age can signify dedication and loyalty to her man, as well as to her faith. Nothing turns a guy off like religion. But then I met Tony. Next character: Anthony Bionicci (sitting to my left, Betty’s right). Born Chicago, 1984. Family business: extortion and coercion. Tony is NOT in the family business, much to the family’s dismay. He definitely has the family physical traits: dark hair, dark eyes, wiry frame, and an unbelievably smooth style with women. There was a glimmer of hope (as far as the family was concerned) when he went into pre-law at UNC. (There was ALWAYS a need for another mouthpiece in ‘the business.’) But that glimmer died abruptly when Tony met Billy (sitting to my right, Betty’s left).. Eva was a small, nervous woman with a kerchief on her head. Hans Sr. was your standard woodcutter, big, brawny, and with one hell of a temper. These two upstanding models of parenthood had thrown their two small children out of the house, and left them loose in the woods. Luckily they had stopped at the first house they saw. That house belonged to one of her best foster parents—Hazel Johansson. She had cleaned them up, and fed them a good meal, and then called Geraldine. She picked up the poor little things, and got them into an emergency placement. The correct authorities were contacted, and a judge forced the Cartright adults to take parenting classes. They took seats to the left of Geraldine, and stared at the floor. The next to arrive was Rapunzel’s mother. This woman was a total piece of work. She had kept the poor kid locked in a tower for God only knows how long. Rapunzel had never seen a dentist, or a doctor, let alone a barber. It had taken 7 hours to get all the lice off.
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