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’ ‘Oh, I know all that and I’m really looking forward to getting my dissertation finished and starting my teaching career, but it would have been nice to have a time together like we had in March to…well, not end our relationship…maybe to celebrate all those changes you mentioned.’ ‘Well, why don’t you?’ ‘What do you mean? He leaves in a few days and, while we can be in the suite once or twice, that’s not what I’m talking about.’ ‘It’s not what I’m talking about either. You’re not working this summer except for your research and writing. Frank is in the same position. What’s stopping you from going somewhere together for a weekend or two or three days? Motels don’t care about your marital status and, anyway, your wedding ring would make you look married. Why not?’ ‘Oh, my god, Mack, I never even thought of anything like that! Do you think that we could do it?’ ‘I don’t know why not as long as you don’t go somewhere that you meet someone who knows you. The only person who would object. I knew I could never let him know though, the teasing and threats would only worsen, I was sure. I embraced my role, finding that I loved him using me, finding that I loved to pleasure him, found that I loved being “girly.” Although, I didn’t want to be a girl, I enjoyed the thought of acting like one. I had began to steal my older sisters panties, the more feminine and girly the better. I found that I felt incredibly sexy and wonderful when I wore them. I would hide them inside my jeans when I thought that boy might come calling for more. Although, I didn’t dare show them or let him know or show how much I enjoyed it all.I dreamed of meeting someone that I could explore with. Someone who would not judge, someone to share my lusts and cravings with. That someone soon showed up...He was a little older than the other boy, but very different. He seemed more mature to me, much nicer and much more caring. I was drawn to him and he could probably sense it. It wasn’t long after meeting that.
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