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”And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.With a flourish of finality he says, “We invented sex!”The Italian replies, “That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women.”A photographer on vacation was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read‘$10,000 per call’.The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.The American thanked the priest and went along his way.Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.‘O.K., thank you, ‘ said. ”“Let’s end here. I’m supposed to talk to her tomorrow. I’ll want to talk to you about how things progressed and how you broke it off.”“There were multiple times we broke it off.”“You did that, right? And she restarted it?”“That’s a fair assessment, yes.”“OK. I’m not surprised given what you’ve said. And I strongly suspect she’ll corroborate your account. What will she do when I tell her to destroy that towel?”“Doctor Mercer, I’d wear full body armor for the rest of my days. And hire a bodyguard. And seriously consider leaving the country. The planet, if you were able.”“That’s what I was afraid of.”November 5, 1991, Chicago, IllinoisAt the diner on Tuesday at lunch, I simply ordered my salad and said nothing else to Crystal other than a simple greeting. She gave me an odd look, looked like she was going to say something, then thought better of it. The same was true when she brought my food, and I ate while reading The Economist. I finished my meal, left the tip, and paid the check. I.
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