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’LITTLE RALPHY ON MATHLittle RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.‘Why’ asks the father?‘The teacher asked ‘How much is 2 x 3?’ ‘‘I said 6”, replies RALPHY.‘But that’s right!’ says his dad.‘Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3 x 2?’‘What’s the fuckin’ difference?’ asks the father.‘That’s what I said!’LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISHLittle RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, ‘Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?’RALPHY says ‘Mas-tur-bate.’Miss Rogers smiles and says, ‘Wow, little RALPHY, that’s a mouthful... ‘Little RALPHY says, ‘No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob.’LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMARLittle RALPHY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet. He yelled out, ‘Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!’The teacher replied, ‘Now, RALPHY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ Please. Kelly was fresh off a break up with one of my old frat brothers. Kelly asked me if I wanted to play truth or dare while we waited. I agreed and said truth. Kelly asked, what is the wildest thing you have ever done to someone? I thought for a moment and said that in my wife’s first apartment she had a bitchy roommate who would label all the grocery’s as her own. Well one night I went out to the gallon of milk and rubbed one off in the milk gallon and put it back in the fridge and told my wife not to drink out of it. Then I laughed my ass off the next morning as I watched our roommate drink a big glass of milk. Kelly laughed, and said ok my turn. Ok I said, Truth or dare? Dare replied Kelly with that same crooked grin again. I looked around to see if anyone was still around. Only Dave our last patient for pick up was still waiting by the door for his ride. He was deaf so he couldn’t hear our conversation. I said ok Kelly, show me what color underwear you have on. I.
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