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When they didn’t answer, I called for my sister, but she didn’t answer either, so I started out to look for them. I’d found, what I thought looked like my sister’s dress, but her dress didn’t have any red it it just yellow and white spots. I quickly dismissed it because this was a red one with dots when I picked it up. That’s when I saw her, her face laying on the ground among some rubble, I ran toward her to see if she was okay. Someone beat me to her, picked her up then dropped her. Someone screamed, they wouldn’t stop screaming, I watched her head rolling down the brick rubble and across the pavement and ending in the gutter. I fought against people trying to take my sister’s head out of my hands, I had to make sure she was okay. After that I don’t remember what happened, until I came to in hospital crying for my parents and my sister. I was told by a nurse cleaning the blood off me, that I wouldn’t stop screaming and a doctor had to give me something to make me sleep. Some time. And I went to Mexico where I met some Columbian drugdealers at a hot spring and one of them took an instant liking to me...Ah, Mexico.It was 1982 by then and I was feeling like I wanted to be a boy againand have some kind of boy adventures. So, I cut my hair and let it turnbrown again. I wore t-shirts and blue jeans. But for some reason peoplekept treating me like a girl. They called me, senorita by mistake, ormaybe it was on purpose. I think I gave off a feminine vibe. I mean, Iwas trying to walk and talk like a guy. I even had a little bit ofwispy facial hair on my upper lip and cheeks, though it didn't reallygrow in too much. I was trying to look tough. And get in touch with mymasculine side. But people still laughed and muttered, maricon and putawhen I walked by, which made me feel bad and self-conscious like theycould tell what I was thinking and feeling inside (I wanted to dress uplike a girl, I wanted to be weak and delicate... though I didn't knowwhy). So that made it hard to.
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