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" Even the recollection made me shudder. "All I could think was I'd been sleepwalking and killed this poor little cat in a horrible way, and for a minute I thought I was some kind of subconscious monster. If he was controlling me none of that would have been there."Her face cleared. "OK, then. I like him, and it's me liking him. And he helped us get together, and I like that, too. And I like liking it all." And she burst out in a song from an old Broadway musical: "'I like everybody / That I've ever met.' Well, of course I don't really, but I'm feeling pretty happy about the world right now." And she squeezed my hand hard.Walking into stores with Camilla on my arm was quite an experience. I suppose the same thing had happened Monday when we were grocery shopping, but I'd been so overwhelmed by having her with me then that I'd paid little attention to anybody else. People, though, stared—not just men, but women too. She absolutely radiated beauty and sex appeal, and even little kids. It’s just quietly and steadily grown. I’ve told myself not to be silly but that hasn’t made any difference at all. Unless you find someone else and marry them I’m going to be with you and love you for the rest of my life.”Toby gazed at her stupefied. How could a fourteen year-old be so sure and so confident in herself that she would tell him? The last thing he must do was to take advantage of her love. He dropped to his knees in front of her so that their faces were much the same height and took her hands. Still her eyes never left his.“Allie, my very precious Allie, I’m going up to university next month and we won’t see each other every day, living in each other’s pockets and doing so much together. We may both find someone else. I’m deeply, deeply touched by what you’ve told me but I certainly can’t commit myself to you at this stage in my life.”“No, Toby, knowing you as I do I wouldn’t expect you to at this stage. I’m a bit surprised at myself but the strength of my love for you.
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