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” I said through a mouthful of pepperoni. I figured that ought to shut her up.She made another checkmark on the clipboard.“How often do you have sex?” she asked brightly.“Do I look like the kind of guy who has sex at all?” I countered.Another mark on the clipboard. She didn’t push that one, but kept asking questions that didn’t appear to have any common ground at all.Finally my burgeoning headache got the best of me.“These are about the stupidest questions I’ve ever heard.” I said. I hadn’t gotten a napkin with my food, so I just wiped my lips with the sleeve of my shirt.Another damned checkmark on that damned clipboard.“You’re hired.” she said perkily, beaming at me.“Who said I was looking for a job?” I snarled.“You’re just the kind of person we’re looking for for this focus group.” she said happily. She lifted the top page on her clipboard and I heard the serrated line on a piece of paper tearing. She handed me something that looked about the size of a check. “Report to this address. No, that's not right. You are leaving here, go pack your bags and get out of my sight. I don't even want to see your lying, cheating, backstabbing, face around here. I'm going to see my son. Oh yeah, is he really mine or some bastard son of yours. Do you even know who the father is?"Vickie was curled up into a fetal position on the couch with great wracking sobs shaking her body. I picked up the keys to my truck and grabbed my duffle bag and left. I got as far as the corner of the street when I lost it. I sat hunched over the steering wheel and cried. It wasn't but about ten minutes later I saw Dick Smothers turn down our street head for my house. I turned the truck around and drove back home. I came in the house and Dickie was trying to comfort Vickie."Dickie Smothers, leave immediately before I throw you out. Haven't you done enough damage to this marriage without adding to it with your presence?" Hey, there is no call for that. I'm just trying to comfort the lady." Lady my ass,.
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